The Face of Jesus
Hi! Nthabiseng Anastacia Koeteli and I am from Ladybrand. At first I was surprised when I was told that we are going to choose a symbol and with that symbol we will compare our lives with it. I kept quiet asking God to give me wisdom, to show me something that has a true meaning in my life. After that I went to my room and I found a picture of Jesus on the cross. A picture of his face, a face that's full of pain and love. Then I remember the day I choose that picture, the day the picture choose me it was in 2019 around this time of the year during this 40 days of Jesus fasting in the world and that is when I can say my life with Jesus began.
Maybe you sisters are asking yourself why not 2018. To me 2018 was the year that I can say God was only introducing himself to me. That is why I'm saying my life began in 2019, right after the day we did a drawing of our pictures. I received a message from home saying my mother was sick and after that I went home and that night my life with Jesus began. his presence in my life became so real his love for me was visible but for me I was so hurt, so heartbroken and life was so unfair. I always ask myself what next God I kept asking him whether to come back or not only until I had a dream that night. about Jesus on the cross I felt like I was there on that day when they crucified Jesus the pain in his eyes and agony he went through.
I started to cry asking them to stop hurting him but it was like no one could hear me so I cried so hard so loud after that I saw that nurse and I became so afraid I could no longer see Jesus on the cross so I cried again asking him why did he leave me why so much pain and darkness. So while I was busy crying I saw a light so bright coming from heaven and Jesus dressing in white I ran to him and he hugged me so closed to him. I asked him why he leaved me because I was so afraid and lonely he told me that he has never left me alone he was there with me the whole time preparing a way for me. He said he is the Resurrection.
After that dream I had hope again, hope of Life hope to continue with what I started which is my vacation then the Year ended and I started a new year 2020. My Prayer was, May the will of God be done.
To me the beginning of last year everything was ok until something happened again in my life, I felt in a very dark place, a place where I felt like there was no one to understand me no want to listen to me and no one to help me to get rid of what I am feeling. I almost gave this life up there was this voice that was telling me that I won't make it here. That no one wants me here and I will never be good enough to fit here. I could not pray I felt like God gave up on me.
one night I went to my room and knelt down and held his picture close to me and I prayed when I was busy praying I cried went to sleep it the next morning I was like my old self again I didn't meditated upon my life and upon the life of Jesus and I said to myself my life here on earth is nothing without God and my life and the challenges I face are nothing compared to the death and agony that Jesus went through for my sake. That’s why even today I'm thankful for everything that I went through up to so far in my life. And again that's why today my sisters. Through the grace of God I'm standing here and asking you to receive me as your postulant I promise to love and serve God in your ways. Amen